Start of the new me - Day One

Hi There!

So, I am Miss. Potential. I'm a smart, funny, outgoing, sensitive, lovable woman who has alot of potential. I have the potential to go places. Potential to be successful and the potential to be truly happy. The only thing that is stopping me is my weight.

I'm not going to lie. I'm not that fat at all. I'm 150 pounds, but at 5 feet tall. I'm a pretty girl too. I have long, straight strawberry blond hair, blue eyes, nice boobs, white straight teeth. I'm a cute one. But in my head, i'm gross. I'm never thin or pretty enough, and never good enough to hang out with my friends and be with a man, no matter how gorgeous he says I am. My image of myself, along with my weight struggles are bringing me down. I need to push forward.

I have a personal trainer who I love. He's a great friend before being my trainer so that feels great. He listens to my bullshit, calls it bullshit, and pushes me forward. I love it. He helped me lose 17 pounds before and I was hot! But I let it all slip away when the man I loved didn't love me back. So here I am, at 150 lbs, unhappy with the way I look, and trying to push forward. My loneliness pushes me to lose the weight, but the unhappiness pushes me to eat. It's a constant struggle that I am battling.

My goal in my weight loss is to weigh no more than 128 lbs, which is fair for my height and the curviness that I'd like to keep. I would like to weight 125 lbs once I hit my goal. My personal goal is to love what I see in the mirror. To look at my body and my soul, and see someone I love. Right now, i'm self-destructive, so i'm here to make a change.

It's not just the weight. It's about being happy in my own skin. Loving my world around me, and of course loving myself. I'm at the age when I need to make my own life, which can be very difficult. Picking my own path, while trying to not leave anyone behind is key. Being happy with who I am overall is my main focus. By stopping drowing my sorrows with food, I am going to feel the emotions, let them be what they are, and find the real me. The weight loss is just the icing on the cake. (Lol...Ironic that I use FOOD as my analogy eh? I've got a long road ahead)

I'm writing this blog to make my goals real, and to help those who feel the same way I do. My life is changing, I just have to make sure to keep up with it. I'm here to make a change in my life. Forever.

Omg wish me luck! I'm gonna need it. :)